So You’re Pregnant..?
Take a deep breath. Calm your pulse. Everything’s going to be ok!
Did you know that around half of all pregnancies are unintended? That means you’re far from alone in this. The thoughts occupying your headspace right now probably begin with two little words: “I’m too…”
I’m too young, too scared, too alone, too focused on my career, too unstable, too financially stretched, too old, too confused, too unprepared and a myriad other reasons why pregnancy feels all wrong right now.
But women in your circumstances – and worse – have faced your same dilemma and got through it. Have a chat with a mum and you will invariably find a woman who says they were ill-prepared (even when the pregnancy was planned!), but the rewards of parenthood outweighed the challenges.
It’s good to remember that circumstances change but the decision you make now will be with you forever.
That’s why it’s important not to rush this. Allow yourself time to sort through what is truth rather than rushing blindly into a promised ‘quick fix’. Arm yourself with information so that your decision will serve you well for the rest of your life. Give yourself permission to ask why?
Why the inner turmoil? Sorting through your feelings.
Many people treat being pregnant as the ‘problem’. If you’re doing this, it can cloud your judgment regarding how you truly feel about being pregnant and becoming a parent.
Take a moment to imagine if you were in different circumstances; married or with a supportive partner, enough money in the bank, family and friends to encourage and support you. Would being pregnant be the ‘problem’ that it is now? This may indicate that being pregnant is not the ‘problem’ at all, but the circumstances you find yourself in or the lack of support or encouragement you are experiencing.
Remember that the circumstances around you can change rapidly and often unexpectedly. Whatever your circumstances, ask yourself, ‘If things were different, would I still be so worried or anxious about being pregnant?’ If the answer is no, you now have the opportunity to really explore your thoughts and feelings about being pregnant.
Friends and family can be helpful to talk to, but sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is outside the situation, someone who is willing to listen.
Here at Pregnancy Matters we have time to listen, time to help you sort through your feelings. Time to give you the information you need to make a decision that is right for YOU.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
Is this my decision or am I feeling pressured in any way by any other person or circumstance?
Have I explored all the options? (It’s important to find out all the information on the options so that you are able to understand your choice clearly).
What are my feelings? How might I feel in 1 month, 9 months, or years from now?
Your Baby
The development stages.
Let’s call your baby Emily, for the sake of these snippets of the most awe-inspiring information
First Month
At the moment of conception, all of Emily’s physical characteristics have been determined: sex, eye and hair colour, body type and fingerprints. She is essentially and uniquely Emily, with DNA that has never previously existed and will never be repeated. By about 22 days after conception, before her mum even knows she is pregnant, Emily has a heartbeat. Within the first month she will multiply in size 10,000 times. Amazing, huh?
Three Months
At three months after conception, all of Emily’s organs are in place. Nothing new develops; she grows and matures. Emily moves constantly, has perfected a somersault, sucks her thumb, wiggles her fingers and toes, can make a fist, even urinates, and is comforted by the sound of her mother’s heartbeat. She frowns, smiles and yawns. This is about the time you receive those glorious ultrasound images that confirm what you know in your heart: that a new little life is thriving within you.
Six Months
Emily has long since made her presence felt with constant kicking, and can now recognise her mother’s voice. Soothing music settles her, while loud music or sudden noises can stimulate movement and startle her. She dreams, her heartbeat slowing when her mother is at rest. Emily is gaining weight, getting stronger and makes breathing movements readiness for life outside the womb.
Adoption
The other option.
“Just because I can’t look after my child doesn’t mean someone else can’t.”
This was spoken by a birth mother to the woman who adopted her baby. Adoption is sometimes the most loving option when a pregnant woman’s circumstances are insurmountable. Adoption not only gives hope to the mother and her unborn baby, but to a couple wanting to become a family.
There are hundreds of couples waiting to adopt children in Australia. Adoption is quite a different prospect than it was years ago, with many people now opting for an open arrangement so they can keep in touch with adoptive parents and have access to information about their child, and in some cases even see their child.
There are no private adoption agencies in Australia, as all adoptions are handled through state government departments. Contacting the relevant department in your state can give you more information.
